Can anyone help with my essay?? Please Editing?

Lastly the media helps with the shaping of globalization. Magazines are one aspect of this. They influence people by telling them what is in and what is not. For example by saying in their magazine that wearing a certain article of clothing will make you fit in with the society around you many people will go out of their way to dress like they tell them to. Magazines play a role in the shaping of globalization. Television also contributes to aspects of globalization. By watching cooking shows you can watch how to make food from different cultures around the world. Doing this will help influence the way many families live and what traditions they have. Newspapers connect people and shape globalization. It can help you be connected to what is going on in the world around you. For an example of this is that you can say learn about wars in Afghanistan and be updated on it weekly, shaping globalization around you. In conclusion, the media helps in globalizing the world.





This is well the second last part to my essay i still need aconcluding paragraph but thank you! please. EddtingCan anyone help with my essay?? Please Editing?
What the heck, I'm bored...





I took the word ';you'; out of the essay- that shouldn't be used at all. And I just fixed some punctuation. You did very good though!





Lastly, the media helps with the shaping of globalization. Magazines are one aspect of this; they influence people by telling them what is popular and what is not. For example, by writing in their magazine that wearing a certain article of clothing will make one fit in with society, many people will go out of their way to dress in that particular style.


Television also contributes to aspects of globalization. Cooking shows often demonstrate how to make a variety of foods from around the world; this introduces many people to food dishes that they may never have heard of otherwise. This shows how a simple cooking program can educate people about world cultures. Newspapers connect people and shape globalization. It can help people connect to what is going on in the world. For example, one can learn about wars in Afghanistan and be updated on it daily, which brings the struggles of that nation closer to home. In conclusion, the media helps in making the world seem smaller.Can anyone help with my essay?? Please Editing?
put a comma next to ';Lastly';


next to the word ';dress'; change the word ';like'; to ';as if';


you have to revise the third to the last sentence
Your conclusion should just be a restating of your introduction with a specific reference to all of the points in your essay.


Here is the edited version:


Lastly, the media helps with the shaping of globalization. Magazines are only one aspect of this, because they influence people due to their content. The content of magazine will impact society in dramatic ways. Teenagers for example, will be hugely impacted by the influence of the media particular with respect to consumer purchases (clothing, music, food). Not only do magazines play a role in shaping globalization, but television also plays a role. For example, when watching a show on cooking, the viewer might be influenced in food preparation from different cultures around the world. This has other impacts on families that are far reaching. Newspapers and other forms of printed media also shape globalization, particularly due to their connectivity: we are only more connected if we are reading about the wars in Afghanistan and are updated weekly. All forms of media including newspapers, television and magazine media play a role in globalization.
comma after lastly. dont end a sentence in ';this'; put what ';this'; is (this type of media). Try not to start with they (different types of media). ';in'; what?. comma after for example. in whose magazine? *clothing will make you fit in with the society around you many people will go out of their way to dress like they tell them to.* this section is wordy... you may want to try *clothing will cause you fit in with people in high society, many people will go out of their way to dress according to these styles. *Magazines play a role in the shaping of globalization. * you dont actually need this sentence, so it makes it seem a little redundant of the first section. comma after cooking shows. change watch to see. change ';doing this'; ';to watching these shows';. How does watching cooking shows influence people, be specific. change ';For an example of this is that '; to For example, .