How do i EMOTIONALLY connect with people (my firends)? Please i need your help.?

Last year i was in a very bad place i was constantly angry and depressed. This year the depression has ended but i found out that it has affected the way i interact with people around me.





Ive taught myself to not care at all about what other people think.


Ive really just learned to only care about myself (concern myself with my own problems.)


Ive found myself not caring at all about other happenings.





This was good because it made me be myself nearly all the time and ironically it made me appeal to alot more people. I hardly ever get embarrassed as well.





But ive recently realized that the world has stopped caring about me. I dont care about that at all. But ive realized that ive started feeling really lonely. I have alot of friends but no GOOD friends like i had before. These good friends are starting to grow distant. And its like ive forgotten HOW to care about the important things.





How do i start caring about the important things (make emotional connection) with my friends again?How do i EMOTIONALLY connect with people (my firends)? Please i need your help.?
Sounds like you need to talk with your friends about this. Be open and honest. Talk more about your feelings and less about what they are doing (stay away from accusing them of doing or not doing anything).


It took awhile for you to teach yourself to not care, it's going to take awhile to re-learn to care about the important things. Things don't have to be black or white - there is a whole spectrum of grey too (as well as all the other colors). You don't have to either care about everything or care about nothing. Take your time and find the balance that works best for you.


Good luck.How do i EMOTIONALLY connect with people (my firends)? Please i need your help.?
Ooo' God,


I wish I could go back...take the red pill and stop caring about things.





I want a lobotomy - I want to learn to shut down my brain....live like a robot like some of these EMO's....and stop caring about people around me.


Are you in for teaching that class? I'll pay good money for that one.



Screw that, tell me how to stop caring.
Jes.You sound like me.It is almost like you have to emotionally disconnect from everyone you knew when you were selling yourself short in order to feel as good as they did when they fed off you.I am between two stools on this.Either I am the one with the prob and loads of people seem to have dropped off so maybe I do and need to see that,or, those people flocked around me because I put on this act and that is what they were drawn to.Someone more insecure than them and willing to put them first.Really I don't know.I am scared and lonely too and wonder if I can be objective enough to make the choice between me being wrong and them being wrong.However,in the end of the day,I have to live with myself and when I think of all the compromises I made to my friends which they didn't make to me, I hope it's not ego,but I feel that I sold myself short and sometimes people change and it's not just you and the world is full of people you haven't met yet.People do outgrow each other and all relationships,by their nature,are symbiotic.So maybe you are just in transition?Either way you will meet new people so why sweat it?Aside from lonliness, would you cull your spirit to keep one of these people friends now?
Depression often alienates us from others, and when we start to feel better it almost becomes depressing again when we see how disconnected we were and how that hurt relationships. It's hard to undo the lonely and get back to friends again.





Start by being honest. Tell your friends that you are aware that you were putting walls up and that it has created a barrier in your relationship. Let them know why, if they care.





Ask them how they are and take interest in them...even if you don't really remember how to care. Do it because if you don't they will see you as self absorbed and shy away.





Take up something that helps others. Volunteer if anything. That practice will help you have something postive non-you to talk about. Seriously, it shows them that you are working on caring again.





Be open to new people. Some friends are going to remain alienated. Growing apart is so normal, but that doesn't mean you can't make new friends.






There is a fundamental idea about love between two people that goes, if you can't love yourself you can love another. Often times people believe a relationship will fill a personal void they have in their own psyche. Unfortunately this is often not the case.





More directly to your very good question.


You don't have to do anything special.


Calling people on the telephone and inviting them out - male or female. Listening to them freely without thinking about your response and simply listening.





Realizing that you like this person and that's cool.


It takes spending time with another person and sharing experiences. Regardless of how trivial those experiences may be.


One of my best friends in the world was a guy that worked at a gas station and let us use the phone there. (we all hung out at a nearby apartment with no phone - this was back in the days of pagers, pre-cell phone).





Anyhow we talked about numerous things and discovered we had a lot in common. From there we ended up hanging out and eventually backpacking Europe together.


Granted the month long adventure was very significant, but simply talking to the guy and enjoying conversation was the real foundation of a friendship that has lasted over 10 years.





Another thing to accept is this.


In school we often have our ';best friends';.


When you become an adult this term sort of vanishes.


Because as we get older you start seeing everyone marry and have kids with their ';best friend';. And then usually disappear into anonymous domestication.





What you need is your solid group of friends with similar interests. And just be a good guy to them. Thats all you can do.


Maybe the city or your job is weighing on you - in which case consider a change.





The ability to make friends and be moderately happy never goes away. You can't lose that - I promise. No matter how distant the concept seems it's always still there in your back pocket. And there is an infinite supply of it back there. So don't be afraid to pull it out and experiment with it.





Also - we are all lonely creatures very often.


At points in my life I have pursued lonliness and solitude in hopes that it would provide me artistic inspiration.


Which is does, but at the cost of depression, questioning self-worth, alienation and in the end you are changed.


But not worse. Not better. Only a little different though still the exact same person.





Look for the most obvious solution to your problem.





Then hold your breath and jump into it!