How can I connect to people when we have nothing in common?

Most people my age prefer watching Hollywood blockbusters and vapid comedies. I like foreign films and obscure character pieces. Everyone listens to popular music. I like experimental rock, classical, and jazz. Everyone has crushes on boy hearthrobs and macho men. I have crushes on middle aged Irish and British actors. Everyone goes out to get wasted at the bar. I attempt to extrapolate a pattern for a 1913 cocoon coat or else go to the library to read up on Francis Bacon or Anais Nin. I have nothing to talk about with people my age. Most of them don't talk to me. They'll ask me what I did on the weekend. I'll answer that I watched La Reine Margot and just get a blank stare. I love my little passions, but can't find anyone like me!. I'm 22 and have just graduated universityHow can I connect to people when we have nothing in common?
There are people like you out there, but not only are we in the minority, we grow complexes about our personalities to fit in better and ironically that only leads us to unfulfilling relationships, regret and repression.


When I was young I had many friends and was very outgoing, but my teenage years were hard on me because I didn't fit in-- I was completely alienated, didn't understand why people did why they did, I had no friends based on interests, and I had to compromise who I was just to have someone to talk to once in a while. Isn't that horrible to feel you have to change who you are to feel normal?





I don't know if it's because, or as a consequence, but many people who don't fit in (and not those that they are creeps, socially-inept, etc) have sophisticated taste relative to most people. You may also be more sensitive, more of a perfectionist, have a little patience, and more importantly the love of learning and pursuit, and that is why you can appreciate things others may not be able to.





People tell me to join ';groups'; to meet people like me, but that is exactly the opposite of my personality and it feels unnatural to me. If you are up for it, it is something you can try, but prepare for it not meeting your expectations. You can go to shows to socialize (but the problem is you may not have someone to go with, and you don't want to go alone), and there are message boards and online communities for every interest out there to meet people like you, or at least have meaningful discussions of things that interest you. It gets easier once you have a friend like you, because it is easier to meet people when you are not alone.





What you can do is try to be more open to people. The more people you talk to, the more likely it is you meet someone like you.


If you like art, go to galleries and make eye contact (but don't stare) to other people; if some one catches your eye, don't be afraid to talk to them. They may even chat you up. You cannot wait for someone to start talking to you, YOU make the move. It is incredibly easy, and if it's not what you're looking for, you just move on.





You are only 22, so there are plenty more experiences in your life where you have the opportunity to meet others. Don't change who you are, but be more open to other people. People don't have to be exactly like you. I like very particular, unpopular kinds of music, but I don't look for someone who likes the exact same bands as me because I learned to not expect that; just look for someone with the same passion FOR music as you. Instead of looking for someone who is also into cocoon coats, look for someone who loves learning in general, who is more mature, intellectual and open-minded. And most important, someone who ';hates people'; as much as you. Everyone who understands the idiocy of others have things to talk about.How can I connect to people when we have nothing in common?
I think there are a lot of people like you, but for some reason you're hanging out with immature clones. You just need to find your fellow travelers and they are out there. I would look at blogs, they are chock full of esoteric people with similar interests. Oh, and don't waste your breath telling people that you watched La Reine Margot, they really don't care what you did on the weekend. That was just a rhetorical question.
Oh gosh, I'm in college and I've met a ton of really cultural people who aren't ';ordinary';. You just have to look in the right places, I suppose.





Most of my friends aren't exactly like me, but we still do enjoy each other's company. You sound like the artsy type, go to some art shows or local music venues that have jazz or something and chat the people up. I agree that it sometimes is hard to attract people like you when none seem to be around, but good luck!
Hey I know how you feel, you and I are actually quite similar. I too listen to different music, which is usually dependant on my mood at the moment i'm into blues jazz and folk.


I never could understand why people would pay money to get dehydrated act like an idot and then feel like c**p in the morning, its just never seemed the logical to me. I've just finished uni as well, and I never acually felt like typical uni student.
I totally get what you mean .. actually i have alot in common with you which is amazing .. i just take pride in not being another mindless clone ..
Good for you !! You sound like a well adjusted focused and grounded person..And WHY would you want to connect to people who don't share your interests? Life is choosing people and things which coordinate with our thinking,,and positions on life..Believe me,,your on the verge of your life if you remain true to yourself and the things important to YOU,,you will soon find your reward will manifest itself..You have much to offer,,and people WANT to intermix with others who share their interests.. So just hang in there..But visit things and places where peoples congregate in places you wish to visit,,and enjoy..And It will happen GOOD LUCK !! SOLOMON